Few weeks ago my cousin sent me a video from my childhood. The video is a candid clip from a family event and shows me and my cousins dressed and waiting to pose for a photo shoot.
In the video there are hugs, kisses, chaos, constant adult (unsuccessful) direction of where and how the kids should pose, Indian film industry influenced fashion choices – think luxurious (somewhat itchy) clothing in rich jewel tones on children who don’t understand or appreciate the need for the grand. But somehow are genetically wired to be prim and proper when wearing such clothes and, ofcourse around a camera.
Did I mention that – I am a SouthAsian transplant and have been calling US home since1997.
That video took me by complete surprise!
Not for the fashion choices or for the fact that I had no idea that such a video existed.
My emotions surprised me.
For a moment, I took the next few breaths as that young girl who had only one major role in life – to be a daughter.
In that video I saw, my now aged, my self and family. Sadly, some of them are no longer with us.
In that video, I saw the simplicity of relationships. Which, my now grown self, knows that it was always complex.
As I watched that video surrounded by my husband and son I realized that they will never know this girl who was once only a daughter. See, they know this woman who is a daughter, sister, wife, mother, working professional and everything in between.
I am super sure I don’t want my husband to know that girl either – I mean I won an eating competition in school! It’s a story for another day.
But that video or some pictures I discover makes me feel these feelings. These feelings that are priceless and feel like a warm blanket over your cold body … until you remember high school and testing. Thank goodness for aging out.
Access to capturing memories is easier than ever! Let’s use them. Let’s take pictures and let’s be in the pictures.
Few years ago we decided that once a year and/or on every family vacation we will make family pictures our souvenirs.
Today, when I walk through the front door and see pictures from our trips, I tell us the couple – Good Decision!
“It’s just so sad and cowardly to see people spew negativity and hatred on social media. I mean if you don’t like it move on!! Btw, did you hear that celebrity X is leaving celebrity Y — maybe X just had enough of Y”
(There is a muffled laugh that sent a clear signal – Ofcourse my theory is correct andnow the world will see the true colors of celebrity Y)
And the conversation continued weaving a web of personality and moral trait judgements on celebrity Y supported bu anecdotes which I can only assume were in tabloids.
In that moment I saw it clearly, while the term trolling maybe a by-product of social judgment, albeit anonymous most time – we have been trolling for a while now.
Think about it.
Judging anyone based on their choices and either mocking/criticizing them to someone is TROLLING!
Cognitive bias is a human nature and the suggestion is not that having an opinion is trolling. But having an opinion on things that are none of your business and passing judgment IS trolling.
Trolls are not limited to the anonymous handles of social media.