You know that frenzy of clean up when someone is coming home. And the ritual of exclaiming how the home is a mess, upon their arrival.
That 50 seconds filler conversation that, we all know, is mostly scripted.
I have that frenzy daily for surfaces that meet the eye.
I am a Virgo like that – my counters are clean but my drawers are a war zone that spare no one. I clean two ways:
One method is directly related to how-upset-I-am-with-my-spouse/situation — this one typically results in those war-zone drawers or trashing of everything! Nothing sparks joy at that time but my work quality, at surface level, is award-worthy.
The second method is called ‘crap! Now I have to clean up’ because I spent my alone time in my home with an intention of organizing, and 30 mins later I am styling clothes I have not worn in ages and have two different makeup applications on my face. It’s fairly obvious that makes up is not my strength and I must invest in skincare! My hair could be in trial extensions, that I once bought at Sally’s on a whim, or an up-do or a DYI mask of something ridiculously drippy.
The alone time at home cleaning method is rare since turns out that people you live with are always there!! (Read this again .. yes, Always There!)
By the time they come home, I am freshly showered, hair blow-dried and in a clean set of PJ’s – I only own pajama’s or going out clothes. Don’t we all?
Ofcourse, I don’t have to clean up and get presentable but I do. Regardless of our ethnicity, gender or circumstance we have all been told to groom, to be presentable, to behave well, to not chew with mouth open, to clean up the mess because someone is coming home .. the list goes on. Maintaining reputation is so ingrained that we ONLY notice if someone makes an effort above and beyond to maintain/enhance reputation – otherwise, on some level all of us do it. And it’s not surprising that we do this – turns out humans, at a surprisingly early age control their behavior based what is viewed as likable, essentially caring for reputation.
Then, I wonder …
If we find ourselves, not 100% ourselves even with the people we live with then what made us assume that the life someone lives on social media is ALL of the life that they live? And, then the audacity to criticize them for only showcasing their best to the world.
Let me own up – I too have been guilty of this. And hearing myself speak of that judgment, I understood it’s more of my reflection than theirs.
It is also true we must consume a mental diet with some self-sanity and commonsense. It’s easy to think that the grass is not only green but perpetually lush on the other side.
But do we need judgment for everything?
Display of affection, however overt, doesn’t indicate a problem in a relationship. Absence of that display also doesn’t indicate a problem.
Display of achievements doesn’t mean that the person is a fake or show-off. Absence of that display also doesn’t mean failure or stagnation.
Sharing incredibly well-shot pictures doesn’t mean that their life is constantly staged and fake. Sharing selfies doesn’t make one shallow.
Sharing nothing doesn’t make one exclusive. We all behave keeping reputation in mind and when we display our life, our audience size varies – that’s all.The endless list of biases, complains and judgments.
No one should be the judge of anyone’s relationships, achievements, failures, lifestyle or choices just based on what is on display. Virtual life is a part of a whole life, and the significance of it varies from person to person. Some only consume, some create/share and consume, some only create/share. It’s time to take responsibility for what we choose consume and not judge for what is being presented.
Consume if you want otherwise, scroll on | Unfollow | Interact minimal – do something, don’t just whine or worst, troll!!! on social media or outside of it.